absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
