That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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