The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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