ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
