she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
