Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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