just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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