When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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