I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
