An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Rumble strips road head = magical
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
