Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
