I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
