I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
