I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize