Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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