No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
