i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
