i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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