he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
