OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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