THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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