Me too!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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