im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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