He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
