im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
