you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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