No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize