I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
