never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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