dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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