we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
