i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
