Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
