Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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