I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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