after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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