my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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