i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
