Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
