Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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