just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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