how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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