Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
