After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
