So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
