do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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