you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
