I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
