R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
