R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Plan B is the new Plan A
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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