Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
