i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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