When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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