Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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