And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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