Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
