Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
