The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
