Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
