everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
3pm strippers are depressing
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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