Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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