Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Randomize
