oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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