Whatcha textin bout Willis?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
