Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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